You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm like, not good at living.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
