I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
