false alarm. still invincible.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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