blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
