If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
