That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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