I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
