Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
