i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
never play flip cup with pint glasses
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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