i think my tv is drunk
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Randomize