thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
