what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
