I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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