Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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