I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Someone shattered a urinal.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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