I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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