It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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