you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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