mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
