I wanna bring you to show and tell
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Let's get the cat blown out
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
