Fuck appropriateness.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
