Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
