Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
