God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Are we still banned from the library?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
