I didn't shave. On purpose
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
