at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
And my parents said I crawled through the house
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
