Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize