Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
