Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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