i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
