apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
