He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize