he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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