it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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