The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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