textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We got so high we made milksteak
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
