just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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