I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
