i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
