I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
can u get pink eye on your cock?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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