If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
