oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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