My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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