a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
