Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
