Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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