do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize