I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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