DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
