No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
