She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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