Non-Jews are for practice
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
