I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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