My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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