Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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