Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
