So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
