I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
